Dare You To Move
by SuperBlueGirl12
Summary: One shot. Santana cant take it any more and finally does something about it, no matter how painful it's going to be. Rated T for adult themes.


**Hey everyone, i wrote this today whilst looking for inspiration for my other fics, just a very drpressing fic about how santana deals with something. Has potential for a sequal but i think i'm gonna leave it as a one shot for the moment.**

**Tell me what you think!**

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><p><strong>Dare You To Move<strong>

_Welcome to the planet.  
><em>_Welcome to existence.  
><em>_Everyone's here,  
><em>_Everyone's here.  
><em>_Everybody's watching you now,  
><em>_Everybody waits for you now.  
><em>_What happens next?  
><em>_What happens next?_

Santana sat with her back against the wall. She was in the girls bathroom next to the science rooms because nobody ever used them. She just needed to be away from everything, and everyone, because she really wasn't in the mood to deal with them. Her born this way t-shirt was screwed up on the floor beside her. She had taken it off and changed back into her normal clothes because she couldn't stand to look at herself in it. 'Lebanese' what the hell was Brittany thinking? There was no way she could just walk out there and sing and dance with everyone wearing that and not expect questions and staring. It was just easier this way. The performance should have been over by now, glee club normally would have finished over an hour ago but Santana didn't want to risk running into anyone.

She pulled her legs up to her chest as she thought about that morning, her father coming in from the graveyard shift at the hospital and completely flipping out. Sure he was tired, had a rough shift, but that was no reason to take it out on his kid. Right? I mean, it was his problem, his shit. It had nothing to do with her. That's what she liked to think anyway. Even though she knew she was the reason he was angry all of the time. She hadn't even told him that she was gay and he still hated her, her mother's departure was the last straw for him. She snapped back to reality as she felt a tear fall down her face. Wiping it away quickly as she set her head back against the cold bathroom tiles. Just then she heard the door open. She wanted to hide. To run away and make sure nobody found her. But she didn't have the energy.

'Santana?' Great. She knew who it was. The intoxicatingly sweet voice of Brittany sending shivers down her spine. 'Santana, what are you doing in here?' The blonde asked, walking over to her friend and kneeling in front of her. She moved to place a comforting hand on the brunette's shoe, but Santana pulled into herself further. 'San, It's me.'

'I know that Brittany.' Santana replied coldly, not taking her eyes off of the spot on the floor she was gazing at. Looking at the girl who broke her heart would only make her feel wore right now and she just couldn't take it.

'Why didn't you perform? You told me you would come.' Brittany asked, sitting back on her heels and making no further moves to reach out to Santana.

'Yeah well, I lied.' She sniffed, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her baggie hoodie.

'You took your shirt off.' Brittany pointed out.

'I did.' Santana agreed, still emotionless.

'Why?' Brittany asked, picking it up and folding it neatly in her lap.

'Because it's bullshit Brit. It's all bullshit and it doesn't mean a thing.' She sighed, putting the hood of her jumper over her head so that she had something to lean on.

'It's not bullshit San, it's you.' Brittany smiled but Santana didn't respond.

'It's just a word Brittany. And it's only going to make everything worse.' She folded her arms around herself and zipped up her hoodie.

'With your dad?' Brittany suddenly thought. Santana was always like this when her dad had bad days at work. The Latina remained silent but Brittany could see the tears forming in her eyes. 'Please tell me what's wrong.' Brittany's puppy dog eyes stared at her and Santana knew that if she looked into them she would break.

'It's nothing.' She said quickly. 'I'm fine so can you go away?'

'San…'

'Leave! Brittany.' She did look up now, eyes burning with something that wasn't hate but it terrified Brittany.

'Okay.' She said quietly, getting to her feet and leaving the Latina alone on the dismal floor of the girls bathroom.

_Dare you to move,  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor.  
><em>_Dare you to move,  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Like today never happened,  
><em>_Today never happened before._

Santana managed to drag herself up from the floor about half an hour later. The walk home seemed longer than usual. Her dad had taken the keys to her car that morning, claiming she was a complete screw up and would only get it back when he noticed an improvement in her behaviour. She felt the rain start to fall as she crossed the school parking lot, shoving her hands into her pockets after making sure her hood stayed up. She could see her breath in front of her as the breeze got colder, darkness creeping up on her as she continued on. She walked in the direction of her house, using the alleys so that she could avoid the roads. In all honesty, the alleys probably weren't a smart idea when it was this dark out. But Santana didn't care. She genuinely didn't care about anything any more and that was what pissed her off the most. She didn't care that Brittany was with the robot, or that her dad thought she was a piece of shit. She never felt the urge to slushy Rachel, or try and one up Quinn or point out how stupid every idea Mr Schu had for glee, because she didn't have the energy. She would just sit there, watching everybody pass her by as she stayed in a constant state of paralysis. She couldn't help but think that she wasn't meant to be there. She wasn't suicidal, it's not like she would ever hurt herself for the attention, she was just fed up with everyone and everything in her life.

_Welcome to the fire,  
><em>_Welcome to existence.  
><em>_The tension is here,  
><em>_The tension is here.  
><em>_Between who you are and who you could be.  
><em>_Between how it is and how it should be._

She got home about twenty minutes later, her dad was home because the light was on in the living room and the television was blaring. Hopefully she could just sneak in without him noticing, but she knew that was never the case. She pushed open the door to her house and slunk inside, not bothering to wipe her feet as she walked into the hall. She was soaked at this point, and rather cold. The rain had soaked through her hood and shirt, her jeans sticking to her like tights. The sound of her closing the door alerted Mr Lopez to her presence, throwing his empty beer can onto the opposite sofa as he got up and walked to wards her. 'Where the fuck have you been?' He shouted angrily.

'I stayed after school, we have a project for glee.' She didn't look into his eyes because she knew what they would be filled with. He snorted.

'Glee.' He spat, laughing as he said the words. 'That is a club for fags, you're not going again.' He ordered, walking off into the kitchen to get another drink. Santana was just surprised that he hadn't set up a mini fridge in the living room, he wouldn't have far to walk then.

'Whatever.' She groaned, running her hands through her dark hair in an attempt to brush out the rain.

'What did you say?' He glared at her, turning back from his trip to the kitchen.

'Nothing.' Santana said quietly, walking backwards away from him.

'You're walking away from me now?' He said sarcastically. 'You're scared of me, is that it?'

'Dad, you're drunk.' She reminded him.

'Yeah, but that's your fault. And your mothers. Your stupid whore of a mother who ran out on me and left you in my lap. I can't bear to look at you because you remind me so much of that bitch!' He yelled at her, pushing her shoulders until she collided with the wall behind her. She winced as she made contact with the hard surface, but her father showed no signs of backing down.

'Dad…..' She whimpered.

'Oh what's the matter baby? Cant handle it?' He came right up to her and planted one hand on the wall beside her face. She was crying now, she knew what was coming.

'Stop.' She tried to turn her face away from his alcohol stained breath but he quickly pulled her back. His stare was enough. His dark, angry eyes burning into her light a flame, cooking her from the inside out. And then the slap came. Backhanding her around the left side of her face as she fell to the ground. She knew yelling or pleading for him to back off wouldn't work, it never did, so she just sat there and took all of it. Each punch and kick making her feel more worthless and all she wanted was to feel nothing. A few minutes later and he was done, probably bored or remembering that he forgot to get his next beer, but regardless he walked away. She was lying with her head on the bottom step, blood from her lip soaking into the grey carpet beneath her. All she wanted to do was stay there until sleep took her over, she was exhausted and in a lot of pain, but she had to get away. Away from him and from Brittany and from everything.

_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor.  
><em>_Dare you to move,  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Like today never happened._

She put two hands on the floor beneath her and pushed, using all of her strength to get to her feet. She was crawling up the stairs for what seemed like hours until she reached her door. Pushing it open and walking as quickly as she could over to her bed. But she wasn't going to sleep. She was out. He gym bag was empty so she pulled it out from under her bed and filled it with as much as she could manage. Clothes were the main thing, with a few personal bits like photos. She then went to her cupboard and opened the false bottom. He father didn't know about it so it was where she kept anything she didn't want him to find. She quickly pulled out about three hundred dollars, all her savings, because if her dad found money he would just take it, and shoved it into her pocket. She grabbed a dry hoodie and then opened her window. The climb down was tricky enough when her body wasn't radiating pain but she had to go, she wouldn't survive here much longer if she didn't leave now. Propping herself on the window ledge, she tossed her bag onto the ground below, moving both of her legs painfully over to the outside. She then grabbed onto the nearest tree branch and lowered herself down. It was still raining.

Her feet pounded heavily below her as she ran. Each breath she took was more painful that the one before as the cold ate away at her insides. She couldn't stop, not now. The bus station was only a few blocks away. She would be on a bus to New York before she knew it and all of this shit would be over. But there was someone she couldn get out of her head, Brittany. She loved that girl so much and it killed her that Brittany chose Artie. So even though she did love her, she couldn't be with her now without feeling like a second choice. The rain was easing up as she slowed to catch her breath. She walked down the streets she grew up on and suddenly they weren't familiar any more. She knew Rachel lived close, just down the road. And Quinn and Puck lived literally behind her. So why couldn't she have lives like theirs? You know parents that love them, no matter what, with siblings and pets and family dinners. She would give anything for a brother or sister to lean on right now. She reached the bust station and looked at the board, New York. She had a thirty minute wait as she walked up to the ticket booth. 'One to New York please.' She asked the man behind the counter.

'Return or one way?' He asked, and Santana only had to think for a second about her answer.

'One way.' She replied, taking the ticket off of him and walking over to the bus. It was waiting for everyone to get on and then it would depart. So she took a seat in the back and waited, wondering what New York could do for her.

_Maybe with redemption and stories to tell,  
><em>_Maybe forgiveness is right there as well?  
><em>_Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
><em>_Where you gonna go?  
><em>_Where you gonna go?  
><em>_Salvation is here._

She took one last look out of the window as the bus pulled out of the station. Being so late there were only a handful of people on it so she finally felt like she could let everything out. She didn't even realise she was crying until a tear fell onto her arm. With one last thought, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, dialling Brittany's number.

'Hello?' Brittany answered, her voice rough like she had just been sleeping.

'Brit…' Santana said quietly.

'Santana?' Brittany could hear the tears in her voice and knew something was up. 'What's wrong?'

'I… I just needed to hear your voice, one last time.' She sniffed, her tears filling her eyes so that she could no longer see.

'What? Santana what are you talking about?' Brittany was close to crying now too.

'I'm sorry B, I couldn't..' She sobbed. 'I couldn't take it any more, I had to get out of there…'

'Santana, what did he do?' Brittany asked, knowing her friend's father was capable of really hurting her.

'Look, it doesn't matter now Brit, I just called to say goodbye.'

'But we have school tomorrow, I'll see you then?' Brittany sounded confused.

'No, you wont Brit. I'm gone.' She cried harder.

'Gone…' Brittany was almost speechless. 'Gone where?'

'Just, gone, okay.' She had managed to control her breathing enough to say the next part. 'I need you to promise that you wont try to find me, or call me, because I have to leave everything behind. I love you Brittany S Peirce, I always will.'

'Santana you're scaring me.' Brittany cried.

'I'm scared too Brit,' She admitted, the bus pulling out onto the highway. 'And I want you to promise me that you'll be happy. Stay with Artie and have loads of little blonde babies who dance everywhere.' She laughed, hearing Brittany do the same.

'Santana I love you.'

'I know you do, but I have to go.' She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her hoodie. 'Just tell the guys I'm sorry, and that despite everything I did to them I liked them, even Berry. And tell them to make sure they kick ass at Nationals.'

'San, you're making it sound like I'm never going to see you again.'

'You probably wont B. It's just better this way.' She sniffed louder, knowing that more tears were on their way so she had to end this. 'Brittany I love you. I'm sorry and goodbye.'

'Santana please! Don't…..' Santana hung up before Brittany could finish, sobbing painfully into her arms as the bus sped down the road towards her new life. And even though it was the most excruciating pain she had ever felt, she knew everything would be okay. Brittany would get over it and marry Artie, her dad would finally have the childless life he wanted and the glee club wouldn't get insulted by her on a regular basis. So New York, watch out, Santana Lopez is on her way.

_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor.  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Dare you to move.  
><em>_Like today never happened,  
><em>_Today never happened before._

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><p>The End<p> 


End file.
